Tag: psychology

Being intentional

What separates your actions from those of a stone or a piece of wood? Sometimes not that much. Sometimes a lot.

Intentionality is defined by the Stanford encyclopedia of Philosophy as “the power of minds to be about, to represent, or to stand for, things, properties and states of affairs”. Standing for something. Having a goal at the fore front of your mind.

It’s a lofty concept if you dig into it. Just check out the sprawling Wikipedia page: link. But it is at the centre of my next guest’s life. It gives him some of his greatest experiences and successes. Being intentional affects his family, his goals and his actions.

Tune in to the chimpwithcans podcast this Friday (audio posted to chimpwithcans.com) to hear some more.

Personality

My friend sent me a link to a personality test: https://www.16personalities.com

Although I know there are lots of different versions, the results of this one rang fairly true. Whereas I used to dismiss the results of these tests, I have recently started to think they are pretty useful.

To notice myself in action. To see the weaknesses and strengths play out in everyday life has become something of a hobby.

There is no hierarchy in a personality test. Just tendencies and traits that you will benefit from noticing. I’d encourage anyone to give it a try.

Rain

The rain has set in. The last few days on holiday have been hot and humid but now the cold front is here and we’re enveloped in cloud and cold air.

No hiking with the little ones. We’re playing table tennis and dominos with other guests at the hotel to pass the time.

For a few years we were in a drought, missing the rain in Cape Town. One wet winter and I find I’m wishing for the drought again. Fickle and selfish thoughts set in when you get bored I guess.

For now, indoors and bunkered down is the way forward. I find I am rearranging the apps in my phone for no particular reason.

The mind is a funny thing.

Extrinsic rewards

I would like to pass CFA level one. I have already tried the exam twice and failed! Like anything this is a multi-variable problem – I have a job and 2 young kids, I never did maths at school, I don’t have a lot of time for studying. Etc. Etc. But I was very close to passing the last time.

Previously all the reward for studying has been intrinsic. But now I am going to give myself some sort of extrinsic, materialistic, awesome enticement for passing the next exam in December. Hopefully this sort of motivation works. It can’t hurt. Candidates for the prize include:

  • an apple device ( I like the look of the new watch and the new phones and the new speaker)
  • a hifi device (my speakers could do with an upgrade)
  • a holiday (after all that studying)
  • a new bed….because sleep.

I am stretching the limits with this exam, but I like the challenge and am lucky enough to be able to try.

To be chanted like the Americans chant: C F A…C F A…C F A

70% with control

I like to play squash. Probably the best advice I have been given is to only give 70% with each shot, and focus all that energy on cleanly hitting the ball. Do it properly at 70% rather than flying in and flailing around at 110% (which is my natural inclination!)

This is more than just a squash tactic. I am at my best when I am calmly dealing with what is in front of me. If I decide to go 110% and expend every ounce of energy in pursuit of one thing, i usually burn out pretty fast.

Life is a juggling act. Keep some energy in store. Keep your head and wits about you. Do things in the correct way.

 

Who are you? personality traits

Our personalities are made up roughly of 5 different traits.

  • Agreeableness: Compassion and Politeness
  • Conscientiousness: Industriousness and Orderliness
  • Extraversion: Enthusiasm and Assertiveness
  • Neuroticism: Withdrawal and Volatility
  • Openness to Experience: Openness and Intellect

If you take a personality test, there is a high chance that it will grade you in terms of the above personality traits. Each personality trait and aspect (and your relative position with respect to them) has advantages and disadvantages.

It’s an interesting exercise in self-assessment. I was surprised by the results I got at first, but then upon thinking about them I saw how it might be accurate.

As with anything, you build up a narrative about yourself inside your head. This narrative is your own to create and change – and it might not be the same story that everyone else would tell about you. The more you can align your story with the outside world’s assessment of you, the more at ease you will be with this difficult life.

Malaria and hijacking

Where I come from, malaria is seen as something pretty manageable. Treat it once it hits you – sort of like a bad cold. Obviously you will feel grim if you catch it, but the trick is not to let the risk escalate after you got the disease. Treat it quick. No worries.

Risk versus reward.

Murder and hijacking rates in Johannesburg are high – the risk is all around you, and yet millions of people live their lives accepting the pros with the cons. Make money, socialise like mad, good restaurants, events, culture atmosphere and the risk of getting shot.

At the end of the day we all die, so the risk vs. reward equation is important because it answers the question of why we do what we do.

But it is completely subjective. My comfort zone is another person’s crisis.

Long term>Short term

I am always pushing myself to focus more on the long term. This is focused on plans I have made with my wife. This is not as easy as I had hoped. The problem is expediency. Expediency is spending time on things that are convenient versus spending time on things that are in your best interests.

Long term plans help to distinguish what is expedient and what is meaningful.

For myself – our family, our business, and my own professional and personal fulfilment are meaningful. This blog is meaningful. Exercise and study are meaningful. Facebook newsfeed is not meaningful. Facebook messenger and Twitter are meaningful. Mindfulness and giving my head some space are meaningful. Nutrition is meaningful. Friends are meaningful.

A small quick paragraph to write, but to stick to it is very hard given all the temptations and distractions that abound.

 

Fear and desire

I can’t concentrate.

Irrational fears and desires are pushing at some primordial nerve. At any given time i want to:

  • eat
  • to sleep
  • to play computer games
  • to watch movies
  • to listen to music

But I also want/need to:

  • work
  • study
  • complete chores
  • spend time with my wife and children

How can i get rid of the noise and focus on the right thing at the right time? I have 2 suggestions today.

1 – Understand your personality type. I took a personality questionnaire the other day from understandmyself.com – it delved into my responses to certain questions, assessing me under 5 big personality traits:

  • Agreeableness: Compassion and Politeness
  • Conscientiousness: Industriousness and Orderliness
  • Extraversion: Enthusiasm and Assertiveness
  • Neuroticism: Withdrawal and Volatility
  • Openness to Experience: Openness and Intellect

I have extreme elements which make up my personality (as does anyone) and this makes me want certain things, find some things easier than others and generally behave in certain ways. Of note in my assessment – I am non-assertive, withdrawn, extremely open and agreeable by nature – so I have plenty to work on and my fears and desires stem in some way from my innate nature.

2 – Understand our culture of gratification and pleasure at the expense of long term benefits. The lazy, primal part of our brain is being taken advantage of by the tech in our lives. Structure your life around managing this desire (ie. downtime from the tech), and the signal can more easily be heard among the noise.